Cultural Word of the Day (remember this as you continue to read): BALUTE
Balute [considered a delicacy in such countries as Malaysia, the Phillipines, and Thailand] is the partially developed fetus of a duck (or chicken in some cases) still in it’s egg, and then fermented. . . .The Balute peddler pulls from his bicycle basket a large earthen jar wrapped with towels and places it on the ground. He then carefully unwraps the towels and one by one, using a knife or spoon, taps a cirular crack around the topmost part of the duck egg and lifts off “the capâ€, as it were.
It’s important to note that there are certain rules to consider when eating Balute.
1. Don’t look inside the egg before you eat it. You don’t want to see the very thing your going to eat looking back at you.
2. Don’t sniff or smell the contents of the egg before you eat it. This is also important for obvious reasons.
3. Don’t think about the contents of the egg before you eat it. Imagination is the man killer here folks.
(information taken from Ahoyhoy.org)
Yep, it’s another Hubby post, and this one is a doozy.
The Setting:
The Characters:
The Hubby (hair all poofy b/c the wife forgot to pick up his hair-gel when shopping. Bad wife.)The Wife (ratty t-shirt and jeans; no make-up even though its badly needed.)
The Little Lady (female child, approx. 14 months old; bread crumbs matted in her sparse hair)
Wife: I know; I found this recipe on the Weight Watchers site. I love the taste of the basil in it. I LOVE basil.
Hubby: Hmm-mmm.
Little Lady: Bblbblbaaa! Bblbblbaa! Uh-Oh! Uh-Oh! Uh-Oh!
Wife ignores the child’s antics and poises to take another bite
Hubby: Oh, did I tell you what my coworker’s going to bring me?
Wife: (shaking head) No — what?
Hubby: Balute.
Hubby: You know — those eggs?
Wife: Oh good grief. You’re not serious.
Wife: (putting down sandwich) I think I’m going to be sick. Why did you have to bring this up now? During dinner?
Hubby: (making poor attempts to hide laughter) I’m sorry; I’ll stop.
Wife: I really think I’m going to throw up.
Hubby: Go in the living room and watch the DNC. Jimmy Carter’s on– he can take your mind off anything!
Wife: WHY do you want to eat one of those?
Hubby: Well, mainly because whenever people talk about Balute, I wanna be able to say “Oh, Balute? Yeah — I’ve eaten that.”
Wife: That’s it? What do the girls at your work think?
Hubby: Oh, MAN! They are SO grossed out! (laughs loudly)
Wife: I can understand.
Hubby: Me and my coworker just keep talking about it and they keep trying everything to get us to stop.
Wife: So your primary reason is just to say you’ve eaten it, and the secondary reason is to gross out your coworkers?
Hubby: Yeah — pretty much.
Wife: I’m still nauseous. (a beat) Please tell me you’re going to eat it at work?
Hubby: (stalling) Well. . .
Hubby: I’m not sure where I’m going to do it.
Wife: You know you’re going to throw up! You got sick the other day when you tried to drink the baby’s juice.
Little Lady: JUS! JUS! JUS! Blblblablblabl. Jus!
Hubby: Yeah, that’s why I think I’m gonna do it here at the house. You know — that way, I can stop after the first bite if I need to . . . and you can have pictures for your blog.
Wife: A story and pictures for my blog? That’s how you’re going to bribe me to let you do this?
Hubby: Yep.
