Ever wonder what is talked about in a Preacher’s home while he’s away? Right after church? By his DAUGHTERS?
Picture it — three sisters, standing around with their glasses of tea, (ok, one didn’t have tea, as she just vehemently pointed out) chit chatting and merrily laughing about little random events and ittles. Wait — what are ittles? Just wait . . . all will be revealed.
Conversation Number One:
Rachel: (to Sarah) Did I tell you that Hannah felt me up in her sleep?
Hannah: (protesting) I wasn’t asleep!!!
Sarah: (to Hannah) So you KNEW you were doing it?
Hannah: I wasn’t feeling her up!!
Rachel: Here’s how she did it!
Rachel ran over to the other side of the kitchen island and grabbed Hannah’s right hand, placing it over her own “ittle”, I mean boob. . . as in Rachel’s boob. (side-note: Hannah said that this sounds like I’m writing a romance novel. Exactly what kind of smut is she reading???????)
Rachel: She ran it up and down like this (demonstrating).
Hannah: No, I remember it was my LEFT HAND.
Sarah: So you did it on PURPOSE?
Hannah: No, I was confused! I rolled over and my arm flung across her chest. I wasn’t sure who it was and I thought I was rubbing her ARM!
Rachel: Um, yeah — that definitely wasn’t my arm.
Hannah: (trying to speak over Sarah’s laughter) Well, I didn’t know!
Conversation Number Two — a few seconds later
Sarah: (suppressing her giggles, turned to Rachel) SPEAKING of boobs, did I tell Hannah about the strip-club?
Hannah: What????
Rachel: OH — you NEED to tell her that!
Sarah: Ok — so, there’s this nasty . . . I mean NAS-TY strip club in our town.
Rachel: You know — as opposed to the “not-nasty” establishments.
Sarah: Well, really it’s a strip BARN. Anyway, it’s nasty — the kind with old, toothless women.
Hannah: Wait — ALL the women are TOOTHLESS? They only hire toothless women?
Rachel: They aren’t specifically advertising for toothless women; those are just the type of women applying for “work.”
Sarah: Yeah, but this isn’t the point! GUESS what the name of this nasty establishment is?
She paused dramatically.
Sarah: DIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The girls erupted into a new wave of laughter.
Sarah: That’s right – –NO ONE thinks about the cute, little baby dimples! It’s the OTHER kind! (and, she affectionately patted her own bum)
Conversation Number Three — again, just a few seconds later
Hannah: Wait, how do YOU know the strippers are toothless?
Sarah: (blushing) Uh — I wasn’t going to mention that.
Rachel: Well, you HAVE to now!
Hannah: (pressuring her big sister) Yeah– how do you KNOW?
Sarah: I really don’t wanna talk about it.
Rachel and Hannah began glaring at their red-faced sister.
Sarah: Alright!!!!! Ugh. . . I overheard a woman, who was only around 30, talking about why she opted to have her teeth removed. Yeah — she’s thirty and wears dentures!
Rachel: She WANTED them out?
Sarah: (getting even redder) Yes — she wanted them out for “work related” purposes.
Hannah: Where did she work?
Sarah: At DIMPLES!
Hannah: (a bit confused) Huh? Why did she need her teeth out in order to do her job???
Rachel and Sarah exchanged glances.
The Mom: What are y’all talking about?
Sarah: NOTHING! Don’t tell her!
Rachel: We’re trying to figure out how to explain why a hooker would want her teeth removed for a “job.”
The Mom: Huh? I don’t get it.
By this time, Hannah had figured it out on her own.
Hannah: I’M not telling her!
Sarah and Rachel, exchanging their infamous looks, quickly turned and left the kitchen.
Sarah: (muttering) I wonder if that qualified for Workman’s Comp?
