Even after nearly 5 years of marriage, I am STILL amazed by what impresses a man.
Today’s example: my husband came in from the detached garage, eyes excitedly dancing, bursting with his news: he had found 5 rats in our garage and managed to kill one with his machete.
First of all, why did he tell me that there are rodents on our property? He knows that I absolutely hate mice, rats, opossums, etc. I am soooo scared of them. I can handle bugs, even lizards (somewhat), but NOT mice/rats. Those creatures freak me out! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE PRESENT.
I had a hard time today, when the Little Lady and I went grocery shopping, going into the garage. I sang, remotely honked the car horn, made all KINDS of racket, hoping my mish-mash of chaotic noise would keep any beady eyed vermin away. I wanted to run to the car, but, you know, that plan really doesn’t work well when you are carrying a toddler that has to be strapped in. Ugh — I was scared the whole time I stood buckling her in. I just KNEW that one of those nasty things was going to run across my foot.
Second — what made him think that I wanted to know the details of his attack??? I don’t want to know about them! PERIOD! I don’t care if they’re dead or alive — don’t tell me anything!!!!! Let me continue my world of make-believe, where no one has ever heard the word “rat.”
Of course, I offended him by telling him all of this; he couldn’t believe that I didn’t want to hear of his adventure, that I didn’t want to absorb every little gory detail of the ONE rat he managed to kill. (sorry, honey, but I don’t really care that I offended you — there are just some things I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!)
Then, that BOY had the nerve to ask if I wanted to go BACK with him for “Hubby v. Rats, Round II.” Me?????? ME???????? Are you seriously asking ME THIS?????
And, again, I offended him by refusing to go out there.
Big baby.
