Sometimes, I feel like I’m living in my own Lifetime Movie. You know — the one with the Oh-So-Dramatic title and the wanna-be (or used-to-be) actors and actresses. (*cue dramatic violins with thunder rumbling in the background)
I’m married to two men. (Dun, dun, DUM)
Fortunately, because I really don’t want to go to prison, those two men inhabit one body. Wait, what? Yes, my husband has multiple personalities. No, the diagnosis isn’t official, but I’m the one who proclaimed it so (therefore, it’s true).
I’ve received comments (both written and verbal) about the Hubby and the dichotomy (bad hubby/good hubby) I present in my posts about him. How can he be the Perfect Daddy, Rambo (Killer of Rats), and the Toilet Lid Criminal all at the same time???? The answer, my friends, family, and readers, has to be multiple personalities.
It’s the only way I can explain and understand it.
How ELSE would you explain a man who pours over the Joseph A. Banks catalog, ogling the crisp trousers and perfectly ironed, french-cuffed shirts . . . . but who also, just a few years ago, deliberately shaved off his goatee because he wanted to look like Nacho Libre?
How ELSE would you explain a man who complains that he doesn’t do enough guy activities . . .
. . . but who also excitedly runs down the stairs to tell you that he’s taught your daughter how to have a tea party?
How ELSE would you explain a man who tells you he wants to have a more romantic, more affectionate, more intimate relationship with you . . .
. . . but who also forgets that YOU are a girl and that YOU don’t like to smell disgusting smells, gloat over disgusting sights, or laugh over disgusting jokes?
It just has to be multiple personalities.
