See that smile? Isn’t it precious? Cute? Cheesy? Adorable?
But, it hides a dark, terrible secret. . . literally.
As I took this picture, just a few short minutes after boarding our plane to Oklahoma, my daughter was laughing because she knew I was about to be embarrassed AND disgusted.
The Little Lady had made a stinky.
It hit me like a load of bricks — the most foul odor that can only come from a dinner of fine Chinese food. And I was TRAPPED! What could I do? The flight attendants were walking briskly down the aisles, shutting the overhead compartments — effectively slamming the door on my idea to sweetly ask if they could wait while I left to change her.
I looked at my still grinning girl . . . she of the stinky diaper.
I did NOT return her smile. Instead, with grim determination, I braced myself and moved closer.
OH MY GOSH!
SERIOUSLY! WHAT had this child eaten behind my back? The odor was practically unbearable. My face flushed; while there was no one else in our row of brown pleather seats, we were surrounded by a sea of business men on their way with laptops and presentations to destinations unknown (well, I mean — besides the destination of Tulsa, Oklahoma). I had to act quickly; this odor was NOT going to stay in one place.
I grabbed the Little Lady’s big brown (yes, it really was brown) blanket and hurriedly wrapped it around my daughter, encasing her and the smell in folds of chenille. But it wasn’t enough. Still, I could detect that pungent, thick smell. There was NO WAY I could endure this for an hour and a half!!!!
The Air Conditioning! Would it prove to be a God-send? I raised my right arm and twisted the little pointy air vents as far as they would go. Hard blasts of air began pounding us. I waited. . .
. . .
It worked, somewhat. The air kept the smell down, away from my nose, for the most part. That is, until she would move. Each time my impatient passenger fidgeted, swung her arms around, bent over backwards in lap . . . the odor wafted upward, catching my poor nostrils off-guard.
Please, God — PLEASE give me a stuffy nose! I don’t care if it’s a cold or sinusitis. Just let my nose plug up NOW!!!!
Somehow, the minutes flew by and not a single business man turned to look at us. Not one single indication that they too were suffering in a mire of invisible poop. My nose stayed free and clear, (sadly) working perfectly. And eventually, we touched down on the Tulsa tarmac.
I was the last one to pick up my luggage from the baggage carousel.
We had to drop off a load first.
