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What I Learned At The Houston Rodeo

March 7, 2006

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(1) I enjoy watching all of the rodeo competitions — especially calf roping/wrestling and the calf scramble (the latter was HILARIOUS).

(2) I do not enjoy country music.

(3) Too many little girls are dressing like hookers.

(4) Guys never realize that they can’t dance and that they should dance in front of thousands of people. They should also realize that awkward pelvic thrusts, bootie clenches, and pelvic twisting, especially when out of time to the music, do not count as sexy dance moves.

(5) Too many old women are dressing like hookers.

(6) I am old and out of touch with the 18-23 aged crowd.

(7) Cross Canadian Ragweed is less about country music and more about stoned rock-n-roll
(evidence = “Oklahoma Boys Roll Their Joints All Wrong”)

(8) At some point, skirts stopped true skirts; they are now simply pieces of short fabric used to
“almost” cover one’s butt and private area. (evidence = girl who wore jean “skirt” that
was so short that when she sat down, her pockets were longer than the skirt and stuck
out) I do not know how these little girls wearing these outfits expect to stay “ladies.”

(9) Girls like to hump-dance each other while listening to Cross Canadian Ragweed; older
women, who remain seated during that band, will hump-dance each other during Robert
Earl Keen. At either age, it’s not attractive.

(10) My ears do not like high pitched or extremely loud noises; a concert, (with an excited
crowd) therefore, is not my favorite thing. I wanted to strangle the 10 year old behind
me, who had apparently just learned how to whistle quite shrilly! AHHHH!!!!! She
should have been home, in bed.

(11) I do not own any western attire, short (fake) skirts, rhinestone belts, kitten heeled shoes,
lingerie-style camisoles, so I definitely stand out at a rodeo. Who knew that I was so old?

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About Rachel Lacy

Rachel Lacy is the author of Following In My Shoes, where she blogs about Mommyhood, Family-Friendly Recipes and Bento Lunches, and Life in Texas. She is a lover of all things Coffee and Nutella.
You can also connect with Rachel Lacy on Google+.

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Who is Rachel LacyMy name is Rachel -- I share tales about food and family. I'm a home-cook who focuses on fresh meals to both fuel us and to help us celebrate our family-life. My day starts with coffee. Lots of coffee.
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