It has become abundantly clear that we need to have a “come to Jesus meeting” over what is and what is not acceptable to put in your mouth.
Yes, we’re talking about it. Please sit down and listen like a big girl — Mommy doesn’t want to have to cover this again.
Here is a list of things that are ok to pass your lips:
- Any freshly COOKED item of food.
- Fresh water that is IN your cup.
- Fresh milk that is IN your cup.
- Your toothbrush — IF Mommy or Daddy have given it to you.
Here is a list of things that are NOT ok to pass your lips:
- Raw food (unless a vegetable that has been placed in your hand by Mommy or Daddy).
- Charlie’s food (rabbit food is NOT people food) or Charlie’s water.
- Food that was on the floor. I don’t care if you put it there to save for later. It was on the floor and off-limits.
- Mr. Boy’s bottles.
- Mr. Boy’s pacifier.
- Mr. Boy’s fingers.
- Mr. Boy’s arm.
- Mr. Boy’s head.
- Wipes, whether clean or dirty, should not go into your mouth.
- Hemmorhoid cream should not go pass your lips . . . and, while we’re talking about it, it doesn’t need to go on your legs OR in your tea cup.
- Mommy’s Deodorant is NOT food. It serves no benefit if taken orally. Please stop climbing up the cabinet to get it.
- Toothpaste. I know you like the minty fresh flavor, but hiding in Mommy’s closet and eating toothpaste is not a good idea.
- Books. These are for enjoying through the act of READING, not eating.
I hope these lists are clear enough, dear Little Lady. I understand that you love to explore . . . and that you have an iron stomach, but following Mommy’s rules will be much, much better for you. I promise.
Oh, and, of course, I do reserve the right to modify this list as needed . . .but let’s hope that it isn’t necessary!