How can you possess the most innocent and beguiling eyes . . . and be the kind of person who locks his mother out of her room? Stranding her, NAKED, fifteen minutes before party guests are slated to arrive.
Yes, I was “without clothing” — or, as the Little Lady said later that evening when she announced to EVERYONE at our Christmas party that “Mommy was nekkid, nekkid, nekkid.”
I suppose I could blame the Little Lady for the debacle. When I stepped out of the master shower, running late because of a series of unfortunate events (one of which involved the Little Lady eating the chocolate kisses off of an entire pan of peanut butter kisses), I noticed she was no longer safely ensconced in my room with her brother.
And, she was very, very, very quiet.
As any Mommy knows, that is a BAD sign.
I left my room, clad in a towel that’s seen better days, and peered over the banister. There she was, with our dog, Max, and an entire bag of dog food strewn all. over. the. floor.
Being a good and sane Mommy, I calmly talked through the incident with my child and we reached an amicable decision as to what should happen next.
(Read into that what you will; I’m sure every been there, done that Mama knows exactly what happened.)
I turned back toward my bedroom and saw the door shut.
Uh, oh.
Holding my breath, I touched the knob and attempted to turn it. It wouldn’t budge.
Mr. Boy learned how to lock the door.
(sigh)
I tried coaxing him back to the door, hoping he would accidentally turn the knob and unlock it. Unfortunately, my efforts were in vain. He was having way too much fun with a roll of toilet paper to worry about the fact he was locked in my room.
I was stranded. Naked. Party guests to arrive any minute. Hubby still at work. Dog food all over the downstairs.
Why is it no one tells you Motherhood is really a sitcom? A series of events you think only happen on a TV show, laugh track cued to let you know it’s ok to chuckle? And, where was my laughter? I definitely could have used some then.
Of course, thanks to Hubby, we were all eventually rescued. . . with just enough time for me to throw on my clothing, take a few deep breaths, and slap on a smile. . . and thank God He made my children pretty cute.
That cute factor saved their lives.
*** No children were harmed during the making of this blog post or the events that inspired it. Just so we’re all clear. 🙂
