In Houston, there’s only one place to go for the most exciting and exotic commodities. Not the Galleria. Not Rice Village. Not Wal-Mart.
It’s all about Trader’s Village, folks.
Touted as a “Texas-Size Marketplace,” Trader’s Village is about the craziest “shopping arena” I’ve ever seen. This past Saturday, we spent the afternoon there, supporting our Church and the “garage sale” they were having to raise money for summer programs.
The garage sale was held at the very back of the 100 acre complex; it was a good 1/4 mile walk from our car — a walk that allowed us to consider some very fine objects for purchase.
Let me show you some of the things we reluctantly passed up.
In the market for a portable, adult “potty-chair” but don’t want to pay full price? Check this one out! Don’t let that visibly worn seat fool you; this chair has YEARS of service left in it. Take a seat and tell me that’s not the best .potty. chair. ever. I dare you.
What about stylish attire for the lady in your life? Nothing says, “I love ya, babe,” like this ensemble. Black bra, corset, and a fake stole? Oh, yeah, definitely better than that other number. Wait, though — are those pink hot pants I see peeking out beneath that white halter top? Oh, man! How will I ever choose between them?
How about something for the home? Something soft beneath your little tootsies. . . ah ha! Here we are. EVERYONE needs a giant tiger rug. It goes with every decor, from Mid-Century Modernism to Neo-Classical.
Did you hear about how some of our top lingerie stores accept returned (potentially used) underwear? Nervous about that much? Fear no more. Trader’s Village has the perfect deals in ladies lingerie! Get 3 items for ONLY $5!!!! I’m sure no one has EVER worn these.
Still searching for the perfect item to take back home? Let me offer two more choices — each one is unique and sure to bring the perfect touch of class to any room.
First, we have a giant tapestry of “The Daily Leaf,” giving a detailed history of Cannabis (also known as Marijuana). Artistic and educational.
These were only a few of the ways you could spend your money at Trader’s Village. For $3 (parking costs), you have access to it all.
Did I mention you can also buy bunnies, parakeets, mangoes, and avocados? Oh, and belt buckles. Lots of belt buckles. And, black market DVDS.
Yep, Trader’s Village has it all.
