On December 15th, an unimaginable evil was brought to our attention. A horrific morning that shattered families, a community, state and nation. And, like so many, I have been left breathless, weeping ugly tears at the sight of sweet names and little faces (with eyes and chubby cheeks and grinning, mischievious lips that look so much like my own Kidlets). Little faces too soon — way too soon — removed from their path of Life.
I am left with nightmares and questions and even moments of panic as I try to wrap my head around what happened at the Sandy Hook Elementary School this past Friday.
Today — silence.
For now, I am stepping away. Away from Facebook, this blog, Twitter, Instagram, and the TV.
Today, I am praying for the families of these innocent people . . .
- Charlotte Bacon, 6
- Daniel Barden, 7
- Rachel Davino, 29
- Olivia Engel, 6
- Josephine Gay, 7
- Ana M Marquez-Greene, 6
- Dylan Hockley, 6
- Dawn Hocksprung, 47
- Madeline F. Hsu, 6
- Catherine V. Hubbard, 6
- Chase Kowalski, 7
- Jesse Lewis, 6
- James Mattioli, 6
- Grace McDonnell, 7
- Anne Marie Murphy, 52
- Emilie Parker, 6
- Jack Pinto, 6
- Noah Pozner, 6
- Caroline Previdi, 6
- Jessica Rekos, 6
- Avielle Richman, 6
- Lauren Russeau, 30
- Mary Sherlach, 56
- Victoria Soto, 27
- Benjamin Wheeler, 6
- Allison N Wyatt, 6
Today, I am praying for my ability to live purposefully …
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Today, I am finding ways to help and ways to remember . . .
Donations — If you wish to donate to help the victims of this unimaginable, horrific event, you can visit the United Way’s donation page for Sandy Hook.
#26Acts — As a family or as an individual, honor the 26 people lost by completing 26 Mitzvahs or Random Acts of Kindness.
- Donate dog/cat food to animal shelters
- Make & take cookies to police officers/first responders
- Pay for the toll/coffee/gas of the person behind you
- Donate stuffed animals or small toys to a police department to be given to children in emergency situations
The possibilities are endless and, perhaps, can help us (and our families) find a purpose in the next few weeks as we grapple with the overwhelming and consuming enormity of this tragedy.
Today, I am going to hug and kiss my children, apply band-aids to skinned knees, wash sippy cups and fold little clothes, make dinner, and continue with the normalcy of motherhood and life.
I struggle with this loss. I struggle with what those parents and families left behind must be feeling. I struggle with the thought of taking my children to school. I struggle with being completely consumed by a depth of raw emotion I haven’t experienced since the loss, 8 years ago, of our unborn child. And, so, today, I am doing what *I* need to do in order to give myself a bit of marginal space. A way to regain my grasp on parenthood. I am going to focus on just being a Mommy today. Because, quite frankly, I haven’t the mental or emotional energy for much else.
