• In the Kitchen
  • Recipe Index
  • Bento Lunches
  • Life As I Know It
  • Life in Texas
  • Faith Walk Farms

Following In My Shoes

tales of food and family

  • home
  • about
  • press
  • contact me

D@mn Hallmark!

December 8, 2008

Share
Pin
Tweet
+1

Thank you, Sunday night’s Hallmark TV Special, for giving me a headache (courtesy of all the crying) and ruining my mascara. And . . . for making me miss the world of Teaching.

It was the sweetest story about an elementary teacher, Mr. Cohen, who was a fabulous teacher living with Tourette’s. Not only did he have fabulous lesson plans, not only did he inspire every student, and not only did he reach the “hard to reach students,” he became Georgia’s New Teacher of the Year. Yeah — hard not to keep from crying. (Hey — it’s ok if I cry a little; I still remember my 1st year and I certainly didn’t have to deal with such an obvious disability).

And, in addition to all of that, he also lost one of his little students to cancer. Yeah — try not to keep from crying when that happens.

But, it wasn’t these things that elicited my random act of cussing.

It was the commercial, advertising their cards. Specifically, it was the card commercial discussing a card for someone who has gone through miscarriage. . . written by a woman who had also gone through the loss of a baby. She talked about her reasons for making this particular card.

“People always say ‘You’ll get over this’ or ask ‘Why haven’t you gotten past this’.” What they don’t realize is that, even though it may have been a short experience, you still fell in love.”
(paraphrased)

My husband turned to me, trying to tell me how sweet that was, but he found me in tears.

That woman had it exactly right. Five years ago, I was only a mother for a few short, short weeks, but I fell in love –head over heels in love.

When the Little Lady joined our lives, the pain of inferility was silenced. While I didn’t forget my 1st daughter, I forgot about the frustration of not having a child. I was happy with my child, who came to us in a miraculous way.

But, the past couple of weeks have been hard again. My infertility has been at the forefront of my mind. I want a second baby — a little sister for the Little Lady. But, we can’t afford a second adoption right now and my body doesn’t want to work. (D@mn ovaries)

I shouldn’t be upset; I shouldn’t be depressed over this. I have an amazing daughter — a bright, energetic, beautiful child who make me laugh each and every day. God blessed us a thousand times when He gave her to us. So, why am I not content? Why am I, once again, dealing with this desire, frustration, and anger? Why am I wanting another child — when I have one?

Why doesn’t it just end? I DON’T understand why I can’t either get over it all OR have a body that works. If I’m going to be stuck with infertility, why can’t I deal with it? Why do I have to continue on this roller-coaster? Where’s the fairness in that?

How do I move past this?

I’m serious with this question — I want to know how I move past this, once and for all. I don’t want to be upset when I hear of pregnancies. I don’t want to hate my ineffective body. I don’t want to be sad. I want to enjoy my family, without the “if only’s” floating around in the back of my mind.

How do I move past this?

Share
Pin
Tweet
+1

Get Posts Delivered To Your Inbox

Privacy Policy

About Rachel Lacy

Rachel Lacy is the author of Following In My Shoes, where she blogs about Mommyhood, Family-Friendly Recipes and Bento Lunches, and Life in Texas. She is a lover of all things Coffee and Nutella.
You can also connect with Rachel Lacy on Google+.

« The Reason Behind My Silence
Bringing Sexy Back »

Welcome

Who is Rachel LacyMy name is Rachel -- I share tales about food and family. I'm a home-cook who focuses on fresh meals to both fuel us and to help us celebrate our family-life. My day starts with coffee. Lots of coffee.
Read More About Me.
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Stay Connected

Recent Recipes

Egg-Nog Caramels

Egg-Nog Caramels

Simple Orange Cream Frosting for an Easy Peasy Christmas Cookie Party

Simple Orange Cream Frosting for an Easy Peasy Christmas Cookie Party

Flourless Cocoa-Monkey Muffins

Flourless Cocoa-Monkey Muffins

Grain-Free Waffle Recipe and An Open Letter To My Free-Loading Chickens

Grain-Free Waffle Recipe and An Open Letter To My Free-Loading Chickens

4 Ingredient Chicken Verde (slow-cooker recipe)

4 Ingredient Chicken Verde (slow-cooker recipe)

Crustless Pizza Cups {iheartlunch}

Crustless Pizza Cups {iheartlunch}

Recent Bentos

Grain-Free Waffle Recipe and An Open Letter To My Free-Loading Chickens

Grain-Free Waffle Recipe and An Open Letter To My Free-Loading Chickens

Crustless Pizza Cups {iheartlunch}

Crustless Pizza Cups {iheartlunch}

I Heart Lunch: Pizza Muffins (grainfree and nutfree)

I Heart Lunch: Pizza Muffins (grainfree and nutfree)

50 Grain-free After School Snacks

50 Grain-free After School Snacks

Favorite Posts

The Things I’ve Learned About Boys

The Things I’ve Learned About Boys

The Things I Hope We Both Remember When I Am 93

The Things I Hope We Both Remember When I Am 93

The Moment Your Four Year Old Announces She Is In Love

The Moment Your Four Year Old Announces She Is In Love

The Clock is Ticking

The Clock is Ticking

Featured

4 Ingredient Chicken Verde (slow-cooker recipe)

4 Ingredient Chicken Verde (slow-cooker recipe)

Wearing My Game-Day Boots and Making Game-Day Food: Slow-Cooker Asian Barbecue Sausage Bites

Wearing My Game-Day Boots and Making Game-Day Food: Slow-Cooker Asian Barbecue Sausage Bites

Slow-Cooker Paleo Italian Stuffed Peppers

Slow-Cooker Paleo Italian Stuffed Peppers

Easy Slow Cooker Ribs

Easy Slow Cooker Ribs

Shop Bento

Check out my favorite bento and lunch-packing resources!

Copyright © 2022 · Tasteful theme by Restored 316

Home | About | Contact | Press | Archives | Disclosure | Privacy Policy ยท

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. I won't take it personally!!AcceptReject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy