To me, he is a prince, a knight in shining armor, my savior and every other over-used cliched. He is “Da Man.”
Sorry, Hubby, but I just can’t keep my thoughts off of this other man, but I think — if I explain everything — you will understand.
Truthfully, my new man has satisfied me in ways that my husband simply has NOT been able to achieve. He has quenched a fire that burned within me — a fire that has been distracting me from the joys of life: eating, sitting quietly and listening to rain . . . holding my daughter on the couch.
I feel like a new woman.
And, it’s all because of this man . . . this unnamed man.
I wish I knew the name of this shadowy figure. I wish I knew a lot about him, but I only know one thing.
He invented this:
Oh, you hot, HOT scientist of years past! If you only knew what your simple little tablets of sodium bicarbonate have done for me! For weeks, I’ve spent sleepless nights — tossing, turning, and sighing — desperately trying to find a position that would ease the horrible burning sensation rushing through my esophagus.
TODAY, I found relief in a little, unassuming bottle on aisle 19 of my grocery store.
Oh, Prince TUMS . . . if you weren’t probably old (and possibly dead), I would SOOOOOOOO plant one on you right now!