Today was one of those days. A day where you wanna run to your room, lock the door, pull out your hidden stash of chocolate and watch “Pride and Prejudice” … or “The Notebook” … or “P.S. I Love You”. ANYTHING to get your mind off the nitty gritty, dirty job of caring for little people.
They need food, diaper changes or reminders to flush, and constant redirection when they want to pick their noses. They mix their new play-dough in with their morning cereal when you aren’t looking. They ooze sap (I’m convinced of it — why else are they always and forever sticky?).
And they spend all. day. long. pushing your buttons till you want to scream.
Or, am I the only lucky Mama with such a passel?
I’m ready for the tables to turn — for me, Mama, Mom, “MOMMY!!!!!!”, to be the one getting love, care, and attention. And I know my day will come but, given the longevity of my family (my Grandpa, who still works in the beef industry, is turning 90 in February), it will be a long time coming.
At some point though, these kidlets are going to be in charge of me. Based on their virtues and vices these days, I’m just not sure which (if any) of these kidlets I want caring for me. And I don’t say that out of concern for them …. I’m worried about me!
And Hubby too, of course … if he’s still around in 40 years.
Option 1 -The Little Lady
She loves giving gifts, writing letters and making people happy. She’s always concerned about those around her — even strangers at the grocery store. She wants to make her brothers laugh and me smile. She wants authority-figures to be proud of her.
The Little Lady also has a penchant for slugs, bugs and critters. She is as moody as a 15 year old, never remembers to flush, despises cleaning her room and has an eery love of watching other people get shots when at the doctor’s office. This four year old also wants to dig up the people in the cemetery so she can look at them.
Yeah … kinda worried about having the Little Lady take care of me. I’d probably end up living with snails and cats. Lots and lots of cats. In an all pink house with Hello Kitty and Disney Princess decor.
And, she’d wanna watch every medical procedure. . . with a scary light in her eyes.
Option 2 — Mr. Boy
This kid is smart. Crazy smart. . . probably the one who will make enough money to take care of me and Hubby in our old age. (and he already loves money, saving every coin he finds or is given)
But, oy. He’s two. So very, very two these days.
What does that mean? He hates all vegetables and meat. Cheese, chocolate and cheerios are his food groups. He loves an audience and wants to be the entertainer where ever we go. Knock-knock jokes (that are forever missing a punch-line) and garbled preschool songs exit his mouth with a sonic boom. No matter where we are, everyone can hear this kid.
And if he doesn’t get his way? Holy toddler meltdown with every possible way to say “NO” screamed at me or his Daddy.
Oh … and he has no intention of ever moving past the diaper stage. None.
We don’t need an entire house purchasing Depends when I’m old and gray.
Option 3 — Barney Kneeknuckles
He’s just a user. A four-month old user.
Uses me for sustenance and as a taxi-cab to cart him all over the place (all day long). This baby uses me as a pacifier and uses the small hairs on the back of my neck as a pull-up bar.
No regard for my needs. Couldn’t care less that my arms and legs go numb from holding and/or feeding him twenty-four hours a day.
An attention-mongering user whose mantra is “Me, me, me.”
Albeit a pretty cute selfish user… who has the most adorable dimple. Not that any of you will ever know since he only shows the crazy faces when I pull out the camera. And Barney has learned how to laugh and give slobbery kisses. Swoon.
(I think he’s learning how to manipulate me…. sigh)
Yeah — based on these kidlets today, the options don’t induce “warm and fuzzy feelings”.
Long term care insurance is sounding mighty good. With that, it can be me and my man — sticking together. After all, I don’t have to remind Hubby to flush (at least not now), he doesn’t scream “NO WAY” when I ask him to eat his lunch, and he massages my legs when they fall asleep.
Definitely the best choice.
This post was sponsored by Genworth Financial, providers of various types of insurance, including long term care, and information on paying for long term care. The words, opinions, and evaluation of my long-term care options (i.e. the kidlets vs. hubby) are my own.