Especially Men.
Old Men.
The Little Lady has turned into an inappropriate little tickle monster. Every time she walks by someone sitting, squatting, or bending over, she reaches over with her little bitty fingers and tickles the small of their back.
USUALLY (hopefully) the small of their back. Sometimes, her aim isn’t the most accurate — which leaves one feeling just a tad bit uncomfortable.
The bad part is that she doesn’t really understand the difference between “Tickle-Safe” people and “Not-Tickle-Safe” people.
Tickle-Safe: Mommy, Daddy, Grammie, Papa, Nina, Poppi . . . and all of the Aunties and Uncles.
Not-Tickle-Safe: All Strangers, including any old Farmer eating at a greasy spoon restaurant, and Grammie’s dog, Molly.
Wait, WHAT? An Old FARMER? Yes, that’s what I wrote. Tuesday, my daughter, either in an attempt to be cute, silly, or flirtatious, decided to tickle the backside of a 70+ year old man as she passed by his seat at a lunch. His backside. A 70+ year old man’s BACKSIDE!!!!
Of course, she has to announce what she’s doing: “Tickle, tickle, tickle.” Not that telling the old man made it any better — she still was touching something that shouldn’t be touched.
(Interjection: my 7 year old nephew, who is reading over my shoulder as I type this, is having a giggle-fit. “Do you mean his BEHIND?” he asked amid hiccupy-laughter. Yes, dear Isaak — I mean his BEHIND. Now STOP reading over my shoulder! Yes, I really mean STOP!)
Fortunately, the old man either had no sense of feeling or she wasn’t doing a good job of tickling, because he didn’t seem to notice the tiny fingers at play.
Too bad Auntie Hannah didn’t have a similar experience later that night. Then again, the Little Lady used her foot that time . . . and she ended up sticking her foot down the back of Auntie Hannah’s pajamas. That’s a little harder to miss.
Of course, Hannah had it coming — she’s the one that felt me up in her sleep during my last family visit. Yeah, she totally deserved a itty bitty foot down her backside.
