Oh. My. Goodness.
Not only is this situation just SAD, but it is my new “Most Embarrassing Moment Ever.”
Hooray for me.
Let me preface by explaining that I am one hot woman. Not a sexy hot, mind you. No, I’m talking about the kind of hot that creates sweat pools. . . the kind of hot that makes you hate every last freaking day of Summer . . . the kind of hot where you don’t want anyone or anything to touch you.
Even wearing light weight clothing, at this volatile stage of hotness, is miserable.
My husband made fun of me last night, referencing the Popsicle wrappers that were around our house. “I can always tell where you’ve been through out the day,” he said laughing (and promising that he didn’t have some hidden agenda by bringing up the fact that I was leaving the wrappers lying around).
I wanted to kick him — which always seems to be my desire as of late — but I refrained and just politely (very politely) reminded him that it is HOT in HOUSTON!!!!!
Today is no exception. It’s hot. Humid. Sticky. Definitely not pleasant.
So, this morning after getting up, I decided that underwear and a (wayyyyyyy too small) shirt were all I needed to get through the day.
“I’ll be less miserable,” I told myself. “Plus, all of the blinds and curtains are closed . . . and, it’s just me and the Little Lady. She won’t notice I’m not properly dressed!“
Sigh. If only I could go back to those crucial first moments of the morning.
After an active morning of eating breakfast, coloring, and watching the Backyardigans, the Little Lady decided it was time for our daily nap. I was READY. After getting her to bed, I settled my scantily clad self onto the couch and immediately passed out.
Somewhere in the haze of sleep, I could hear Little Orphan Annie singing: “It’s a Hard Knock Life for Us . . . It’s a Hard Knock Life for Us.” Struggling to wake up, I realized my cell-phone was ringing (and, yes, that’s my ringtone of choice). Before I could really pull myself together and off of the couch, the song stopped and the missed call message flashed on the screen.
Missing a call doesn’t stress me out anymore; I promptly laid back down to go back to sleep. But, I remembered that I was awaiting a call from my doctor. Sighing, I again attempted to pull myself up off of the couch, which is definitely not an easy feat.
The missed call was from my brother-in-law.
Ugh — I woke up and actually GOT UP for him? Now, I love my brother in law, but was he, at that moment, truly “wake-up worthy?” It was debatable, especially given how hot I was at that point from the energy exerted to check that silly phone.
But I couldn’t just dismiss him. During his single days, my brother in law was infamous for dropping by unannounced. Memories of those visits stirred up a faint sense of panic. Holy crap, what if he was calling to let me know he was nearly to the house? What if he just walked in the back door and found me, in my underwear and shirt, lounging on the couch? HOLY CRAP!
I sent two quick texts.
The first was to my brother in law:
“Sorry. I am napping. What’s up?”
The second was to the Hubby.
“Any idea why your brother just tried to call me? He better not be coming by cause I am LITERALLY without clothes right now.”
Then, I waited for their responses.
Hubby was silent. No phone call. No incoming text. Nothing.
My brother in law, on the other hand, called back, informing me that he had two questions — the most important being “did I really mean to send him a text letting him know that I wasn’t wearing clothing.”
I looked at my phone. He was correct. The text to my Hubby had NOT been sent to my hubby. It went to the brother in law.
Oh. My. Goodness.
I tried to apologize. I tried to explain. I tried to excuse myself.
But the damage was done. He knew the truth.
And, his original reason for calling wasn’t to let me know he was stopping by. Nope — he was safely two hours away from my house.
Sigh . . . and Sigh.
p.s. For the record, I am now FULLY clothed!