Yesterday, my beautiful brother-in-law and sister-in-law welcomed their first child into the world. Our family made the two hour trek from Houston to visit them and marvel over the teeny-tiny fingers and toes of this new baby.
I watched my brother-in-law’s face as he told us about the birth and he never once stopped grinning. His whole body was one giant smile as he looked from baby to wife and back to baby. It’s his first child and he is head over heels in love.
As we all are when we first view these little conveyors of change — these little beings that forever alter the way we view the world and the people around us. Little bodies that consume us and make each of us wholly aware that there is something bigger than the word “me.”
This morning, I would like to say that I remembered all of that and was a loving, calm, peaceful Mommy. A Mommy who joyfully awoke and greeted the day and her children, eager to see their sweet faces and oatmeal scented hair.
But, after our late night drive and multiple middle of the night nursing sessions, I woke up grumpy. Bleary-eyed. Wishing I could go back to bed (alone) and sleep for 79 and a half billion hours.
My kids, also grumpy from a later than normal bedtime, NEEDED to go back to bed. All morning long, it was one fight after another. One fit after another. One ear-screeching yell (“MOMMY!!!!!!!“) after another.
After two hours of this, I was emotionally done and in desperate need of coffee, chocolate, reinforcements, or even some “happy pill” that could be instantly, through the glory of pharmacy automation, be put into my system and put me out of my misery.
I needed help. A nanny or a housekeeper or a robotic material handling system, something like what the Jetsen’s had, to streamline the morning routine of packing lunches, back-packs, and diaper bags. I needed a little peace.
These little beautiful people — the ones I prayed to have in my life — are the least harmonious things in my life. The most beautiful parts of my life? Yes. But peaceful? No.
But, that’s Motherhood, isn’t is? Chaos and crayons, battles and baby dolls, snotty noses and smiles. Twenty-four seven, 365 days a year. A beautiful, noisy, sweet and dirty mess.
Sleep will come some day.
And some day … my blog posts will no longer have this reoccuring theme of “Mommy Needs A Break/Sleep/Chocolate.”