What’s the old phrase . . . when it rains, it pours? Yeah, that’s what happened last week. Crap pouring all over the place. And, unfortunately, I mean that quite literally.
Sigh.
Situation #1 — A Flood in the Bathroom
Let’s start with the major event: our sewer backed up. Yes. Backed up. In. My. HOUSE!
A friend of mine asked, “How do you know when your sewer backs up?”. Trust me — you can’t miss it, and a curious two year old won’t miss the drama either. “The toilet is broken” became quite the popular phrase around here.
So, whose fault was it? Our lovely city of Houston, and it’s electric maintenance company, cut the sewer line when installing the electrical cables. Of course, they “tried” to fix it, but it was done so poorly that tree roots were able to get into the pipe and grow. And grow. And grow. And grow.
Bottom line? I had a VERY good excuse to open my Christmas present a month and a half early. By the way, dear Hubby, thank you SO MUCH for the Shark Steam Mop. It is AWESOME. (and thanks for agreeing that this situation mandated the use of the mop!)
Fortunately, Hubby and my Father-in-law were able to fix the problem . . . and they fixed it for about $1650 LESS than the $1700 quoted by the plumber. Yeah. Those boys rock!
Situation #2 and #3 — The Little Lady Experiments (twice)
I’ve learned an important lesson this week. No matter how high out of reach you place items, a two-year-old will find a way to get those items.
Especially if those items are mascara, Bare Minerals powder, toothpaste, and hemorrhoid cream.
The first time she decided to play, we were minutes — mere minutes — from heading out the door to church. I left her waiting in my room as I went to find her shoes. BIG mistake.
I returned to find my bedroom door shut . . . and LOCKED. That’s right, the little twerp had locked a door for the first time. A door to which there is no key.
One bent bobby pin and three minutes later, Hubby and I burst into the room and were greeted with a happy, squeaky voice proclaiming, “I’m coloring my face! I’m a kitty cat!” My eyes turned toward my bed, where I found her proudly perched, water-proof mascara open in her hands, and black, smudgy lines on her nose and cheeks.
A few days later, I did something stupid: I turned my back on her while I folded laundry in Mr. Boy’s room. Always the opportunist, the Little Lady sneaked off to my room and quietly, so very, very quietly, shut the door. It was a few minutes before I realized my vocal girl was quiet and no longer with me in Mr. Boy’s room. I entered my bedroom, knowing she was in there because of the closed door, and found her once again on my bed.
I’m not sure why she chooses that spot, each time, for her experimentation.
THIS time, it wasn’t mascara that was her media of choice. Nope. This time she’d gone big: Bare Minerals powder was all over her face and the duvet. . . toothpaste was smeared on her lips and piled on her fingers. .. and, oh yeah, she was busy spreading the hemorrhoid cream all over her legs.
And THIS time, she had no words. No declaration of what she was doing. The Little Lady knew she was in the wrong! (and also excited to learn she would be getting an impromptu mid-morning bath)
Situation #4, #5, #6, #7, #, 8, #9, #10 — the Rest of the Week
Hmmm. Let’s see. Situations 4-8 were the numerous blow-outs I had to clean up, courtesy of Mr. Boy. A melted exersaucer, thanks to a very silly Mommy, is number 9. And, “Brown Teepee” paint spilling on my shoes rounds out the top #10 of all that happened.
I. Am. EXHAUSTED.
